Random Questions: These riddles think they're so clever

Hey everyone. I know I've been doing a lot of random posts recently ala Random Tuesday. However, since today actually is Tuesday, it would be weird to do a more straightforward blog entry. I wanted to do something different from just random questions about myself and I had a weird phrase pop into my mind: "unconventional answers to riddles". So I'm just going to try it out and see what happens. Let's go?

I'll post the riddle and answer as I found it and throw my own answer in that is clearly better.

Q: What has a foot but no legs?
A: A snail
Better A: That statue from Lost

Q: What comes down but never goes up?
A: Rain
Better A: The prices of a clearance rack item.

Q: I’m tall when I’m young and I’m short when I’m old. What am I?
A: A candle
Better A: Benjamin Button

Q: How can a pants pocket be empty and still have something in it?
A: It can have a hole in it.
Better A: You are referring to a pair of pants by Empty Pants Incorporated (EPI) and forgot to properly capitalize your proper nouns. All EPI pants come with one pocket pre-filled with cake.

Q: A dad and his son were riding their bikes and crashed. Two ambulances came and took them to different hospitals. The man’s son was in the operating room and the doctor said, “I can’t operate on you. You’re my son.”
How is that possible?
A: The doctor is his mom!
Better A: It was a parent, but not necessarily the mom because 2015.

Q: What goes up when rain comes down?
A: An umbrella!
Better A: The profits of those people who sell umbrella from little stands outside office buildings

Q: What is the longest word in the dictionary?
A: Smiles, because there is a mile between each ‘s’
Better A: Dictionary, because it's long enough to contain every other word

Q: Throw away the outside and cook the inside, then eat the outside and throw away the inside. What is it?
A: Corn on the cob, because you throw away the husk, cook and eat the kernels, and throw away the cob.
Better A: Whatever it is, it's confused by your disorienting food preparation.

Q: What word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it?
A: Short
Better A: The words you spell with your Anti-Matter Letter Blocks from when you were a kid.

Q: What travels around the world but stays in one spot?
A: A stamp!
Better A: I'm going to go nerdy by saying anything could be an answer because you're looking at it from two different frames of reference. So I'll say mustard seeds.

Q: What has 4 eyes but can’t see?
A: Mississippi
Better A: A potato and your estimation skills leave something to be desired.

Q: If I have it, I don’t share it. If I share it, I don’t have it. What is it?
A: A Secret.
Better A: Chewing gum in high school because as soon as someone knew you had it, you had ten people lined up at your desk for a piece.
 
Q: What has hands but can not clap?
A: A clock
Better A: A deck of cards, ha!

Q: What can you catch but not throw?
A: A cold.
Better A: A football covered in super glue and flypaper.

Q: A house has 4 walls. All of the walls are facing south, and a bear is circling the house. What color is the bear?
A: The house is on the north pole, so the bear is white.
Better A: Let's look beyond the bear's color and see if the bear was bringing any sort of housewarming presents, like a coffee cake.

Q: What is at the end of a rainbow?
A: The letter W!
Better A: Half as much as what's at the end of a double rainbow.

Q: What is as light as a feather, but even the world’s strongest man couldn’t hold it for more than a minute?
A: His breath!
Better A: Okay, this is kind of gross, but a really big fart.

Q: What starts with the letter “t”, is filled with “t” and ends in “t”?
A: A teapot!
Better A: A tweet where someone fell asleep with their face on their phone.

Q: A man was driving his truck. His lights were not on. The moon was not out. Up ahead, a woman was crossing the street. How did he see her? A: It was a bright and sunny day!
Better A: The women was walking her pet T-Rex that had laser beams coming out of its mouth. Kind of hard to not see that.

Q: What kind of tree can you carry in your hand?
A: A palm!
Better A: A math textbook, like one focused on geometry or trigonometry

Q: If an electric train is travelling south, which way is the smoke going?
A: There is no smoke, it’s an electric train!
Better A: Since the question implies there's smoke, that means the train is on fire and the smoke is going in the direction you should not be going because you do not want to breathe that stuff in.

Q: You draw a line. Without touching it, how do you make the line longer?
A: You draw a shorter line next to it, and it becomes the longer line.
Better A: You put it under one of those overhead projectors from school and you look up at the screen.

Q: What has one eye but cannot see?
A: A needle
Better A: Again, a potato and I really think we need to talk about making reasonable estimates in a short period of time.

Q: A man leaves home and turns left three times, only to return home facing two men wearing masks. Who are those two men?
A: A Catcher and Umpire.
Better A: Exterminators because the man has a cockroach problem and is having the apartment sprayed down while he's at work. (He forgot his work badge which is why he turned around to go get it.)

Q: Which weighs more, a pound of feathers or a pound of bricks?
A: Neither, they both weigh one pound!
Better A: The bricks because you can use them to build a brick house that's mighty mighty letting it all hang out.

Q: How many months have 28 days?
A: All 12 months!
Better A: None because I stole them all so each month has 27 days and I put the days together to make a month(ish) where we all play video games and enjoy each other's company.
 
Q: A horse is on a 24 foot chain and wants an apple that is 26 feet away. How can the horse get to the apple?
A: The chain is not attached to anything.
Better A: It was a big horse and the owner had a big brain fart and put the chain on the horse's back leg... or the horse was a chameleon/horse hybrid with the long tongue.
 
Q: Mr. Blue lives in the blue house, Mr. Pink lives in the pink house, and Mr. Brown lives in the brown house. Who lives in the white house?
A: The president!
Better A: Tom Sawyer! He tricked a lot of local kids that day.

Q: How do you make the number one disappear?
A: Add the letter G and it’s “GONE”
Better A: You eat it - duh.

Q; What goes up but never comes down?
A: Your age!
Better A: The running tally for the number of times I say or type out the phrase "and that's the way the cookie crumbles"


Alright, that was a random little idea that had some interesting moments. It did take me a bit longer than expected to come up with alternate answers, so I need some sleep. Tomorrow will be National Chocolate-Covered Anything Day.

DFTBA