Perfect Harmony!... except not really

In high school, there were people who referred to me as a perfectionist. When it came to classes and extracurricular activities, I always wanted to make sure that everything was squared away. When I was the band captain in high school show choir, I remember making this big list of all of the equipment we needed for the show as well as who would carry it on and off the stage. There were times when my efforts were a little nitpicky, but I found enjoyment from completing a project perfectly. Heck, I can think of some times when that happened outside of school, like making a directory of where to find stories on different video games in my Nintendo Power magazines.

As I learned about personality assessments in college, I realized that those behaviors fell in line with characteristics of a Gold in the True Colors model. I won't go into full details (you can find that here), but the True Colors model has four colors/styles - Green, Orange, Gold, and Blue. To give some larger characteristics, Greens look at the big picture and ask "Why?", Oranges love spontaneity and are energetic and active, Golds like to get all of the details organized, and Blues wear their hearts on their sleeves. Each person exhibits stronger and weaker colors, and whenever I've taken the quiz, Gold has almost always been my strongest or second strongest. (Depending on how you know me, you may be surprised to hear that Orange is consistently my weakest color.)

I've taken the True Colors assessment multiple times and while the results can skew from year to year, Blue is always a hot contender for my top two colors, especially when I'm taking the assessment and thinking about Personal Life Me, rather than Work Me. As a Blue, I want to get to know the people in a situation and cater my approach based on whoever is also involved. I want others to share what they truly think and to let others know that I will have empathy for them. Above all else, the Blue in me strives for harmony.

I say "above all else" because harmony also pops up in another personality assessment, StrengthsQuest/StrengthsFinder. This assessment looks at 34 strengths, such as Communication, Positivity, and Self-Assurance, and gives you the five that are most important to you. I've only taken this assessment twice, but Harmony has been in my top 5 both times. Being a Harmony is about what you would expect - I want everyone to get along and really really really try to avoid conflict.

Unfortunately, I'm finding myself in a situation where these two qualities (the perfectionism of being a Gold and avoiding conflict as a Harmony) are meshing together in a difficult way. One component of my current position is to serve as a hearing officer when it's believed that a student has not followed the policies of the campus housing department or the college in general. Simply put, if someone gets in trouble in my building, there's a good chance I have to meet with them and potentially delegate consequences. When campus closed down for Winter Break, the RA staff goes through all of the rooms to make sure that the windows are closed, lights are off, and nothing will start growing or smelling bad over the month-long break. Inevitably, RAs will see something that shouldn't be in a freshman building sitting on a dresser clearly visible.

As the hearing officer, it's my responsibility to handle these violations and send out warning letters or arrange for students to meet with me in the spring semester. This part of the position brings down a lot of stress on my Harmony side because I'm worried that a resident will become angry with what I have to say or the fact that they are receiving sanctions. There are moments when the Harmony side even wants to brush it aside, but the Gold says "No, stop it. You have to play by the rules". Plus the Gold needs to make sure that everything in a warning letter is pristine, which makes the Harmony more concerned. Et cetera.

At this point, I'm not fully done with the letters and follow-up for these closing violations. The students come back next weekend and with my schedule more than half-full from RA training, my time is running short. I do think I'll get it done, but I know it's been causing me a lot of stress over the past two weeks. I had similar experiences while working in Missouri, although those concerns were more so with parents getting upset and with fewer long-term ramifications in the works. 

This has turned into quite the ramble, but I just need to get it done tomorrow. It would be nice if my job didn't have judicial affairs tied in, but we don't exactly live in that harmonious of a world just yet.

Sadly this is another day where my activities didn't really fall in line with any of the holidays. I will say that today is Thesaurus Day, so I'll try to take some time to spice up my vocabulary.

DFTBA