What I did want to talk about is home. To start off, what is home?
"A home is a place of residence or refuge"
Yes, Wikipedia. That is the technical definition, but that's not what I'm going for.
Thank you, ISP's of the world. That's closer... I think.
"Home is where the heart is."
This is the most commonly said and commonly accepted definition of 'home'. From the quote, you can tell that it's less about a physical structure and more about a feeling... unless you're making the pun about your home always coming with you in the form of your rib cage. I bet you can ask anyone to think of home and they can easily create a mental image. Some homes are loud and busy, while others are quiet and subdued, but we can all think of a place that has been a home for us.
As is the case for many people, the first place I called home was my parents' house. It makes sense really - that's where I spent a majority of my childhood and as I grew up, it was still where I slept, ate, studied, and occasionally entertained company. When I started to work at the downtown theater, it became my second home. I can't say that I slept and studied there a lot, but it was a place where I was surrounded by friends and colleagues and we all worked together to create amazing shows. The high school also became a "home away from home", both from all the friendships I made and all the things that I did there - band (regular/marching/jazz/pep), choir (regular/madrigals/show), theater (fall musical/sets of one-acts), etc.
When I graduated high school, my parents and I boxed up my stuff and I was taken away from the town I called home and plopped into a building with 900+ strangers - Middlebrook Hall. Call it the college experience, but this building quickly became home. For my freshman year, I lived on a floor of 64 students where all of us were in the Honors Programs of two or three different colleges (math/science and lib. arts were the two for basically everyone). Since we spent time together in classes, study groups, and downtown expeditions, we quickly formed strong friendships. To this day, if you ask me about who would know me the best and the people I call my closest friends, 80%+ of the people that come to mind were a part of our floor's social circle my freshman year. As I went through college, Middlebrook continued to be my home. A number of friends moved off-campus, but a handful of us did stick around as CA's (think RA's but the C is for "Community"). Compared to high school, there weren't really strong contenders for strong "homes away from home", while I was in college, but some close contenders were the the music building across the street and the cultural music venue that I interned/worked at.
There were a few summers in college that I lived with my parents again and either worked at the same playhouse theater or simply relaxed. There were high school friends that I spent time with, but things felt less like home because my college friends weren't there and living in the city changed my outlook on where I wanted to end up in life.
After I graduated college, my parents, friends and I (eventually) got my stuff boxed up again and moved two states south. During the staff training, I got to know and connect with many of co-workers. There was one co-worker who goes on record that her first memory of me was at the giant interview convention we both went to and a random interviewee and I were ripping into each other for fun. My co-workers and I had connections, but it didn't feel like college. Of course, a chunk of that is to be expected: we didn't attend classes together, and since we had different wings/clubs/collateral assignments, we weren't always side-by-side on the job.
I've been here for four years now, and this building is definitely the place I think of when I say "home". However, it feels like that definition is more focused on "where I spend my time", "where my stuff is", and "where I can accomplish things and help society", rather than "where I feel a part of a expansive social network". Sure, the students accept me and I have great experiences with my co-workers. On the other hand, the students are just that - students. We're on different levels so there are things that I can't talk to them about and events that I can't just grab some students and go do. My co-workers are great, but with there only being five of us, our most common modes are "working" and "taking personal time to re-charge, let's hang out later". Maybe that's just me, though. Maybe I could be doing more to put myself out there. Even still, with all of our responsibilities, we can't go on random adventures every afternoon or evening.
So, why am I saying all this? Well, even though I have a home, I still miss home. I miss the communities I've been a part of. I miss the fun adventures. I miss the people.
Now, I realize that the places I've called home have changed since I left them. My parents' house isn't my home anymore. The high school certainly isn't home. The playhouse isn't home, since I haven't acted/worked there in years. Even Middlebrook isn't home anymore. Fortunately, I've been able to keep in touch with the people who helped make my hometown and Middlebrook home, but I do feel like I neglect them when it comes to communication that isn't regarding winter break or the summer.
I know that where I'm at in Missouri isn't the home where I want to stay forever, but I hope it can push me in the right direction.
With all this talk of home, I feel like it'd be best to have Diana Ross wrap up today's blog post:
No comments:
Post a Comment